So This Trans Woman Walks Into a Salon and Says, “I Need My Man Parts Waxed”

When a proud couple presents their newborn son for family and friends to ogle over, little do they know they may one day be watching her walk down the aisle. Scientists believe an overabundance of the opposite hormones than a person’s visual gender reveals them to be, means the factory screwed up another one. An authorized technician needs to do a little tweaking.

As children, our heads are filled with the notion of the Big Kahuna not being able to make a mistake. We are as He intended and that’s final. Well…at one time there was no other choice but to remain the unfortunate victim of a gross error, so it really was final. However, these days options abound.

Don’t like who you are? No biggie. It’s fixable. But first, ya gotta decide what stays and what goes since you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Anyone can dress as the opposite sex, but if a person truly believes they’re trapped in the wrong body, they’ll see a doctor about releasing their inner-self.

So this trans woman walks into a hair salon… Ready for the punch line? In addressing this person in the politically correct but illogical term, she gets pissed because none of the female hair stylists are willing to wax her ‘man parts’. She then creates a spectacle of off-the-chart proportions, storms her steaming gonads out the front door, and runs straight to a sympathetic lawyer who had nothing else to do.

In determining what grounds to sue on, Jessica Yaniv, the Canadian balls carrier, and her unnamed what the hell I could use the money lawyer came up with transphobic discrimination for refusing to wax her unladylike parts. The case has been being shoved to the back burner since the human rights complaint was filed in 2019, but it’s finally been settled, and you may be surprised by the final judgment.

The lawsuit was not only against the salon itself, there were multiple suits filed against each of the salon workers. Yaniv was going for the gold. But the Justice Center for Constitutional Freedom said no way. Yaniv might be a transvestite who thinks he looks pretty in pink, but outside of shaving his armpits so he can go sleeveless on those hot sticky days, he is still a he, and “that’s the way it be.”

In a press release, the Justice Center said, “Human rights legislation does not require a service provider to wax a type of genitals they are not trained for and have not consented to wax.”

Jay Cameron, the Litigation Minister of the Justice Center, stated rather humorously, “No woman should be compelled to touch male genitals against her will, irrespective of how the owner of the genitals identifies.”

Her/his (we’re confused too) testimony was said to be “disingenuous and self-serving.” Yaniv was accused of filing unjustified complaints. Cameron said she was evasive during her questioning in which he/she continually contradicted himself/herself. In fact, the entire case backfired, and guess who got slapped with a healthy fine? Yup.

Yaniv owes three of the five non-waxing hair stylists $2,000 each for putting them through Hades. One of three who suffered the most was the salon’s owner, Mrs. Hehar Gill. Because a bunch of bleeding-heart liberals whose support is easily gained took up for a poser transvestite, she was forced to lock the shop’s doors forever.

Yaniv attempted using personal sexual identification as a weapon. The case was never about human rights and none of the motives were for the betterment of the rainbow community he falsely purported to be a card-carrying member of. It was a sham and it was a harsh insult to those who may legitimately feel like they are overloaded with the incorrect hormones.

Don’t misunderstand. It isn’t the contention of this publication to state an opinion on the matter of sexual identification one way or the other. You need to chat with yourself about this one. All we’re saying is to not fake what you aren’t for the sake of a few bucks. It didn’t work for Yaniv…

But in one respect we’re glad this entire ordeal happened because it sure made for an interesting, and ya gotta admit it, kinda funny story, and there’s no shame in laughing at idiots. We do it all of the time… Go ahead…